ONE MORE TEASER

Scene 4.

The Benkumfo are locked up in a meeting of executives. They have congregated to assess themselves and their performance.

Dr. Exclamation: My colleagues, I welcome you all to this august meeting. Now when we hold meetings, the champagne has to flow. Where are the orderlies? Serve the stuff.

Contented laughs and sounds of concurrence are heard. They are served.

Dr. Exclamation: Today we are almost up to first hundred days of our term of office and we are here to look at our performance. I think we would all have to look upon ourselves with pride. At least our clothes are better, we ride in better cars and our cheeks have grown fatter haven’t they?

More laughter and agreement.

Mr. Florence (very angry and passionate): You people are jokers. What do you mean by that? The people of the past administration are walking about free of charge. We have not been able to lock them up in jail and you are saying all is well? Some of them are still at post. They are working in the various ministries and departments. They are still there. Look Wofa Atta you are being too slow. You are being too slow. How can this happen? Huh? How can this happen? Our people are still out there hungry. You cannot be serious.

Mrs. Iddricries: Mr. Florence, we are working on your concerns. We have to follow due process in gathering evidence against these people so we can prosecute them. I assure you we are working on it.

Mr. Florence: Due process my foot. We have enough to already prosecute them. The stole, they killed, they robbed, all of that. And if you cannot find the evidence we are in government. Can’t we fabricate some of it? What is all this? Huh? I am still using my old cars. This is stupid. Very stupid of all of you.

He storms out in anger.

Wofa Atta: Don’t worry. I will talk to him in private. And please make sure that his cars are replaced by next week. Give him at least four cross country vehicles and that would make him ok for now.

All agree and the meeting continues. Meanwhile, just outside the meeting place, Mr. Florence is leaving and he is surrounded by a pack of media men who ask him questions.

First person: Mr. Florence, so how did the meeting go?

Mr. Florence: Well they are there trying to do something.

Second media man: Sir, what are your impressions of your government so far?

Mr. Florence (angrily): This is not my government. This cannot be my government. If I was the one at the helm of affairs in this country, the thieves of the former administration would not be walking around as free as they are shamelessly doing right now. They would have all been packed into the prisons at Mawasn by now. This cannot be my government. It is my party in power but I am not the president. But to answer your question I think the government is too slow. They are just too slow about things.

Third person: Do you think the ministers are doing well?

Mr. Florence: I think they are a pack of greedy bastards who have come to seek their personal gains. This is a reserve side and not the real team. Obviously this is a team b side.

A fourth person attempts to ask a question but he receives a terse response of no more questions. With the help of his aides, Mr. Florence is ushered into his car and drives away.

Act 4 scene 1 of the play.

Scene 1

At a cabinet meeting. Plans are being made on how to lead the country. Ministers and their deputies are present at this planning committee meeting.

Wofa Atta: My people. I welcome you all to this meeting. Our honey moon days are over and now we must go back go back to our jobs, we have a country to run and we must do this to the best of our abilities. The people voted for us to become their leaders and now it is our time to give them that sort of leadership. So let us start with the treasury department. What plans do you have?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: Thank you very much for the opportunity. We at the department of the treasury have so many plans but the truth is that all the things we promised the people during the campaign cannot be achieved. By all indications, our plans were unrealistic and we cannot in good sense attempt to pursue those things we promised the people we would.

Egya Ntonton: Look here Mr. Man. We all know that we cannot fulfill those promises we made. We knew it right from the start. We had to say something and so we said some things. Now we are in power and so we must do something. That is all. We do not have to do all we promised. All we have to do is to let it look like we are doing something and that is that. This is African leadership. It is all about perception. We can get away with anything if we make it look like we are doing a good job.

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: In that case I would suggest that we pursue the same policies that were being pursued by the previous administration. This would mean would attempt to stabilize one or two indicators and use them to attract loans into the country. This would also give us the space and chance to make noise that we are developing the country.

Fiifi Propa: As for me, I want to go to school to further my education so I do not want us to do anything that would put a strain on that. So far as I know and I am concerned, we were doing just fine and so let’s pursue that policy. When anything comes up, the department of nsem should be able to control it in our favour. Let us be a fire brigade. We would do nothing unnecessary. When something comes up, we attend to it. If not, then like a fire brigade, we would sit in wait.

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I agree with you perfectly on this one. We shall be the fire brigade. My brother, like you, I also have to go back to school to further secure my future. So I would just want to sit and enjoy the position. All we have to do is occasionally release some things that would work in our favour. Another very important thing is that when our opponents attempt to criticize us, we would send our communications machinery against them and cripple them. We would intimidate them by insulting them and using all other means possible. The security forces have to be our allies so we would have to work on pleasing them. Once all of these things are in place, we shall rule forever’

All: Amen! Amen! Amen!

Wofa Atta: What you have all said makes sense. But is that all of what it would take to ensure a vibrant ecomini? O sorry I meant economy. Would we have sufficient economic ploduction? Sorry I meant production.

Mr. Tin Cutter: As politicians, we must behave like tricksters. We must always have enough tricks up our sleeves to keep the people interested and delighted. For as long as we do that, they would be too concerned with their daily lives to pay any serious attention to the real issues and happenings. One of the major tricks we can pull is to blame the opposition for every evil that happens from now onwards. All we would do is find ways and means to link the evil happenings to the opposition. It is either they are behind it or they are the causes of it through economic mismanagement. Whatever it takes. We should work had to find other tricks because believe me the best politicians are the politricsters.The politicians who are really tricksters.

Wofa Atta: That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense but what about scandals? How would we deal with scandals? Also how would we manage to keep our people satisfied? How would we keep our youth and other ranks happy?

Egya Ntonton: Ho! Those people, we will sort them out. There is that global sports festival coming on very soon so we will take them there. We will just select a couple of them and send there. Also, we would use the existing job schemes to recruit a few of them. Those that cannot be catered for under these schemes, we would keep on making promises to them. We would make promises and hope that something happens for them to come to pass. After all we are the politricsters aren’t we?

All: Laughter and smiles

Uncle Akoi: For the scandals, we would always set up a committee, apart from doing some bogus work with preconceived findings, these conomteas would also enable us get some jobs for the boys. I use the word conomteas because we would just put a couple of people there to go and drink tea, take some allowances and draft a report. By the time all of these are done, the public would have forgotten about it and we would all quietly sweep it under the carpet.

Wofa Atta: Another smart move. Very smart. What else can we do?

All characters freeze

Osagyefo: This is how they plan to rule my nation. This is what they did when they met. But Adjoa and her husband will keep hoping for a better Anahg. A better Anahg for all.