THE COMPLETE WORK

DEDICATION

“Who can find a virtuous woman?

For her worth is far above rubies…

Her children rise up and call her blessed”

-Proverbs 31 verse 10-28

All the pages in this work of drama are dedicated to Barbara Amissah (1956-2007).

Mother, this is my way of calling you blessed.

List of Characters.

Prof. DoLittle : current leader of the Benkumfo and president

Mr. Florence: founder of the Benkumfo and ex- president

Jack Waawaa: former leader of the Nifafo and ex-president

Mr. Tin Cutter: advisor to Prof. DoLittle

Uncle Akoi: advisor to Prof. DoLittle

Egya Ntonton: influential member of Benkumfo

Dr. Exclamation: party leader of Benkumfo

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: communication specialist for Benkumfo

Pretty face Strange Name: secretary of department of Nsem

Tuesday born Beater: secretary at department of Sikasem

Ato Saturday born Metal: radio presenter

Monday born upon Okro: radio presenter

Nsekou Okro: member of Benkumfo

Stand DogBe: member of Benkumfo, worker at department of Nsem

Adjoa: an ordinary citizen

Husband: an ordinary citizen

Kojo Ansah: an ordinary citizen and a beer bar regular

Esi: an ordinary citizen and beer bar owner

Kofi Ntim: an ordinary citizen and beer bar regular

Gabriel Bukari: an ordinary citizen and beer bar regular

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: a Secretary

Chief Shortman: leader of the Nifafo

Nana Nkomea: spokesperson for the Nifafo

Mrs. Iddricries: secretary of Justice

Prologue

An unseen voice proclaims.

I am a great and saddened being. My name is a name of many. I turn in my grave daily, out of discomfort. For my Anahg, this nation I fought to free is now headed in many a ways and to nowhere.

That man Shakespeare was indeed a great man. For he rightly said life is a play and all men are merely actors. If this is so, can you tell me what the script for politics in this my land is?

I would tell you. But before I do, I know you want to know who I am. Yes I am Osagyefo, he who fought to free and liberate. He who stood before Thor’s men to attempt to liberate the children of Antoa, Pra, Densu and Ankobra. I Osagyefo, I founded Anahg, the land of freedom, justice and prosperity; at least that was what I meant it to be. Today, my Anahg is far from what I expected it to be. It has become a nation that is heavily politicized. Everything has been split right down the center between two groups of entities.

The first of these are the Benkumfo (the leftists) who claim that I am their father. Maybe I am, maybe not. Then there are the Nifafo, whose predecessors and I had a long and bitter battle throughout my life as a human. To date, I believe the fight still goes on.

These two have decided to run every single thing through the mill of political judgment. It is either right or wrong depending on whom it favors and my anger builds up daily against them.

My people still need food. They want clothing and shelter. They want good health and all they do is fight about issues of who is right and who is wrong. Hmmmm.

Some people are the key actors in this play of my nation Anahg. Meet Mr. Florence.

(Unto the stage walks a tall burly fair man with a beard.)

He founded the leftists and you would have to help me judge who he is.

And then there is Mr. Jack Waawaa.

(Tall dark man with huge eyes walks unto the stage. Draws a contemptuous reaction from Mr. Florence and they move to opposite ends of the stage)

He was the last leader of the Nifafo who managed to gain the presidency.

And then Prof. DoLittle. Prof. DoLittle is the current president of the state and the one who would bear the most of my criticism because he can do something about it.

(Unto the stage walks a calm looking man with a smile. Almost grey haired.)

These are the major players in this script of politics for my dear nation Anahg.

Act 1:

The Campaign

Scene 1

A meeting setting. The campaign team of the Benkumfo has met and is discussing strategy for the campaign. Prof. DoLittle is the obvious center of attention and everyone at the gathering seems to want his attention.

Dr. Exclamation: Order! Order! Order! This meeting is to discuss the strategy of our noble party for the upcoming campaign. As can be seen we are in opposition and we have been here for a long time while our opponents enjoy the largesse of the state. This cannot continue for long.

All: Of course not.

Mr. Ntonton: Afe we die aye yen afe (this year is our year). Yen nso ye behye bi. (We shall enjoy some of it.)

Dr. Exclamation: So, we have met here today to plan for it. What have you to say?

There is a sudden rush of murmuring and attempts to catch his attention. All participants in the meeting seem to have something to say and are eager to express it.

Mr. Florence: You people never listen to anything that I say yet when it is time for things like these, then you call me. Have you now realized that I am important? Have you?

Anyway, as I have always said, this is the time to make the people of Anahg realize how corrupt Jack Waawaa and his people are. We must make it a point to say it at every opportunity that we get that they are corrupt. There are a lot of people out there who are living in poverty. In those people we have our best allies. Let us paint a very corrupt administration to them, use the facts we have and a little embellishment would not hurt anyone. This is politics my friends. We must be on the beat and prove it.

The people at Rokrohc and Amin, Ojala and Meidehw don’t have food. If we tell them that their money is being spent on frivolous expenditure, they would be angry and their anger means more votes for us.

All: Well spoken. Well spoken.

Egya Ntonton: We also have to mobilize the grassroots level of our people with promises of jobs and money. We must let them know that they must give off their best for us, so we would be able to reward them when we win power. We should be able to tell them what they want to hear. We need them and we must do all in our power to get them. Let us have the people go out and do the job for us. Let us spend the meager resources we have wisely to get them enthusiastic. We would worry about the promises later when we have power.

Floor member: Wo ye bue. (You are good.) General papa paa.

Nameless: I together with my friends who are Nsemtwerefo would also start a propaganda campaign. I know our big man in charge of it would furnish us with some good material to work with. Have you all seen that paper we circulated last week? The one that had the various figures assigned to various government functionaries?

(The participants nod their head)

That is the first of many more to come. That is how we shall proceed.

All: Well done Nameless. Keep up the good work.

Prof. DoLittle: I will tell the people of how I care for them. I would let them know that I care for them and that if they vote for me I will not leave them stranded. Tribalism and nepotism will be away from my path and everything will be alright.

Dr. Exclamation: For you, you have to distance yourself as much as possible from all the dirty work and let us handle it. You are just to arouse the trust of the people and give us credibility. In this our job, we know what we must do and we would do it just right.

All: Yeah yeah.

Fiifi Propa: One very vital thing is that in as much as we are wishing for a win, we must also prepare for the worst. In case we lose that is. So I think we should raise all questions about the electoral process that we can raise. Question the integrity of the electoral body and prepare the mindset of all other people for possible cheating. That way, if we are to come out after the elections to say we were defrauded, we would have followers.

Mr. Florence: very well said. At least a couple of you still have brains. When I gave my boom speech and called on the people to practice positive defiance, what did you think I was doing? Finally some sense at last.

Mr. Ntonton: We all agree to this new plan. I think it is very god. Don’t you all agree?

All gathered: Yes we all agree.

Dr. Exclamation: Order, order. Ok so now we have done quite a lot, I think it is time to wrap up these deliberations. So far these are the strategies we are going to use:

1. Accuse the present government at all times, even without evidence if need be.

2. Mobilize the grass roots of our group to do vigorous work. Promise them whatever is needed to get them to do what we want them to do.

3. Use propaganda of all sorts against the government. Elicit help from friendly media in doing this.

4. Have the leader maintain a clean and caring posture. He should not be compromised in anyway. He should come across as humble, obedient and honest.

5. Prepare the minds of the people for the worst. Do all we can to erode confidence in the process. Just in case.

Do all of us agree to use these methods?

All: Yes we do.

Mr. Florence: Finally it looks as if you are beginning to be sensible. All of you. This is a party that I founded with my own strength. I know what it takes. You must listen to me some more.

Mr. Ntonton: If there is no further business then this meeting is adjourned. Any more questions?

All: No.

They all rise to leave. They hold post meeting consultations etc.

Osagyefo: The stage is now set for the battle.

Scene 2

It is a hot afternoon. Prof. DoLittle and his people are out on the campaign trail. They are going from house to house convincing people to vote for him. He is drawing quite a large following and is increasingly becoming popular with the people.

At someone’s door.

Prof. DoLittle: Agooo! Agooo!

Small boy: Who is that ah! Who at all is that?

Prof. DoLittle: Please it is me, Prof. DoLittle. Are your parents in?

Small boy’s father comes to the door.

Father: Ei, Adjoa, Adjoa come and see. It is the presidential candidate himself. Ei, what have I done to deserve such honor? Adjoa hurry up!

Out comes his wife and she is overcome with joy and surprise.

Adjoa: Ei, our next president, please do come into our humble home. Ei, indeed you are a humble man. Indeed you are a great man.

Prof. DoLittle: My breder and sister, I have just come to have a small conversation with you. As you are aware, I am running for president and I want to get to know my people. I want to understand you and know how you live so that if you vote for me, I would be able to represent your best interests.

Father and Adjoa just cannot help but express their excitement. They hold on to his every word and nod their heads agreeably, perhaps a bit too aggressively.

Prof. DoLittle: Governments of today have become insensitive to the plights of their people. Because they hold such high offices as they have been given, they sit in their cross country vehicles and forget about you and me.

They send their children to schools abroad and eat the best of foods whilst you and I are left to fend for ourselves.

I would not do that to you. I am a humble man who loves peace. I am one of your own and am just like you. I am pleased to come to you and attempt to learn. I would not change, so vote for me. Vote for Prof. DoLittle.

Family: Why not? A man of your stature and demeanor should definitely become president. You surely have our votes.

Prof. DoLittle: Thank you very much my breder. I am very grateful and I won’t let you down. I must go now because I have a lot of homes to cover today.

Father: Ok, but just one quick question. If you are president, are you sure you can really care about us as much as you say you will? Will you come and visit?

Prof. DoLittle: Of course I will. Try me and you won’t regret it.

Father: Thank you.

Wofa leaves and walks a few metres to the campaign grounds where a large gathering is. There is a rapturous applause. Many appellations are said in his name and various party insignia and jargons are used. The atmosphere is quite electric with a very vibrant and enthusiastic crowd indeed. He mounts the stage and after several attempts at quieting the crowd, he finally succeeds and he begins to speak.

Prof. DoLittle: My breders and sisters, Anahg is a beautiful country that was given to us by the Almighty God. We are blessed with cocoa, oil, timber, manganese and all the riches of this world. We should be a rich nation by now but we are not because we are being led by corrupt officials. Our current government is using the wealth of our beloved nation to enrich themselves whilst we are left in misery

(Great cheering from the crowd with people passing all sorts of comments.)

Prof. DoLittle: They have become immoral and arrogant, they, our leaders have no respect for us. They sit in their cross country vehicles that they bought with our money and run around attending to their own enrichment. That is why I have come to offer myself as your next leader.

I am one of you and have always been. I care for you. I listen to you and I would do what you want.

(Cheers from the crowd.)

Mr. Jack Waawaa and his people have used our money to build houses for themselves and to renovate their own houses. I would not do that. I would use the money to provide free school uniforms for your children

(Cheering)

They have instituted an awards ceremony in which they award only themselves, I would cancel all of it. I would use that money to ensure that no child goes to school under trees.

Today, we are being told that they have managed the economy and that inflation is low. Let me ask you, will we eat inflation?

All: NO.

Prof. DoLittle: Do we pay school fees with economic indicators?

All: NO.

Prof. DoLittle: That shows that our leaders have lost touch with the realities on the ground. Prof. DoLittle would not eat and refuse to think about you. Prof. DoLittle would not concentrate on his family and forget you. Prof. DoLittle would not just travel abroad for the sake of it. Vote for Prof. DoLittle and Anahg would be a great country.

(Cheering from the crowd. All characters freeze.)

Osagyefo: Remember these moments? Yes that is how it all begins. The campaign period and its promises. Sometimes they even go far back as using my name and works.

Want to know what they really mean? Let’s see.

Act 2

The Victory and Its Immediate Aftermath

Scene 1

Somewhere in rural Anahg.

There is a long line of voters waiting to cast their votes. Tension is visibly high and some macho men are seen on the fringes of the stage, paying rapt attention to all the proceedings. Suddenly someone attempts to do something illegal and this draws the attention of the Nifafo representative. He attempts to get the right thing done and then confusion breaks out.

Nifafo Representative: Hey man, why are you letting him vote? His name was not found in the electoral register was it?

Overseer: Massa, mind your own business. Ours is to decide who gets to vote and who does not. Yours is to observe. If you have any complaints, write it down and present it later.

Nifafo representative: No I cannot allow this. It is wrong. The law stipulates that if his name is not found in the register, then he should not be allowed to vote. The least you could have done is to at least consult all party representatives present for us to reach a consensus on the issue of this man’s credibility

Benkumfo Representative: Look here, this is no place for your book long nonsense. We do not care what you have to say. Sit down and let this process go on. Who do you think you are? You and your corrupt people. Jack Waawaa has given you all money to spend and neglect us. You think you can bully us here eh? Foolish man.

A scuffle ensues between the two of them and the macho men move in to give the Nifafo Representative a sound beating.

They proceed to carry him and dump him on the fringes of the stage. They go back and jubilate whilst they encourage others to vote in like manner.

Scene 2

The home of Adjoa and her husband. They are listening to a radio discussion program the day after the election.

Radio presenter: Good morning Anahg, good morning to you all. It is a lovely morning and we are proud to be Anahgians. This morning, we are still awaiting the results of yesterday’s elections and with me here in the studio to discuss new developments are Dr. Ynot Naidoo and Nana Nkomea. Let me start with you first Dr. How did you find the elections? Before I proceed, let me let all my listeners know that Dr. Ynot Naidoo speaks for the Benkumfo and Nana Nkomea speaks for the Nifafo. Now, Dr. you have the floor.

Dr. Naidoo: Well, what can I say? When you look at the history of Anahg, a historic election has been held which obviously has been won by us but the Nifafo are attempting to steal our victory.

They are thieves and would always be thieves. Cocaine politicians who cheat every time. We have all heard of what was done in their various strongholds against our people. This is preposterous and outrageous. In fact it is shocking. I cannot believe that this is what we have allowed just a simple election to degenerate into. The people have chosen Prof. DoLittle. Let us let him be our president. Is that too much to ask for? I call on all the downtrodden and innocent people to rise up in arms against Jack Waawaa and his band of oppressors who are looking to cheat us. We have won and we would ensure that we are pronounced winners. Let us gather in front of the Ambakanfo’s office and ensure that they do the right thing. We are victorious.

Nana Nkomea: You see, it is things like this that cause such grave errors in society. The elections were held just yesterday so why are we in such a rush to create an atmosphere of victory? We need to be a lot more circumspect in making such pronouncements on radio. Presenter, as has been the norm in this country, we know that it takes about three days for the full picture to emerge as to who has won and who has not. That is exactly the point. Why the rush? I choose to believe that this is part of a plan steeped in mischief.

Radio Presenter: Well listeners there you have it. The leading parties in yesterday’s elections have spoken. Till we meet again tomorrow, it is me your faithful host signing off.

Scene 3

Television broadcast being watched by a group of people at a beer bar. It is news are listening to the headlines time and they are watching.

Newscaster: It is six o, clock and welcome to the evening news on Badnews tv. In the headlines:

Scores of irate youth have besieged the headquarters of the Ambakanfo. Electoral violence appears to have occurred quite frequently at yesterday’s elections. Ambakanfo appeal for patience in the demand for electoral results. The Benkumfo accuse the Nifafo of plotting to rig the election results.

A young gentleman, who is obviously incensed by the headlines gets up and turns off the set. He is very drunk and is regarded by all as a nuisance but they tolerate him.

Kofi Ntim: You see, all these apparently rich men are at each other’s throats because of a simple election. Hmmm. The surprising thing is that you all call me Philosopher Nonsense and regard them as wise men. But based on our action alone, who is wiser? Huh? Who is wiser? Aha. None of you can answer me. I would forever continue to love my bottle and enjoy the blessings of it thereof because there is no hope in any of these people for us. They would not do anything for us so it is better to invest in KILL ME QUICK so that I die early.

The rest begin to laugh uncontrollably.

Kofi Ntim: What is funny? Huh? What is funny?

Kojo Ansah: When you speak of investing in kill me quick, are you speaking of KILL ME QUICK as in this store or kill me quick as in the drink? Because we all know that you can never save money to invest in anything except in akpeteshie.

The rest begin to laugh some more.

Kofi Ntim: Say what you want you woman who cannot stand the taste of a man’s drink. I should be laughing at you.

Gabriel Bukari: As for me, I must leave now. I have to go and drive my taxi to make some money to feed my family. Whoever wins this election is only going to chop chop some more for the benefit of his family and not mine.

He gets up and leaves. The owner of the store who has been inside all this while comes out.

Esi: Who has turned off the tv? I would bet it is you Kofi Ntim. Ei Philosopher Nonsense. When shall you stop this nonsense? I know the only reason why your mother gave birth to you was to avoid getting a fibroid from the tumor you would have turned into if you had stayed in her.

Goes to turn the set back on.

Newscaster: Breaking news. The head of the Ambakanfo is ready to announce the results of the elections so we shall now take you directly to their offices to watch the declaration of the results.

The people at the bar all of a sudden begin to pay rapt attention to the tv set.

Dr. Afarinyi: We have counted all the votes for the elections and I would make this very brief. The Benkumfo have won the elections by 0.2 % margin over the Nifafo. As a result of this, the duly elected president of the Republic is Prof. DoLittle. Thank you.

Wild jubilations begin.

Mystique Mysterious: Esi, give everyone another round and let’s drink to the health of Prof. DoLittle. May he become a good and prosperous leader. One who would lead the nation into prosperity as he prospers himself.

All: Amen.

Scene 4

One month later. The new government has been ushered into office and they are attempting to find their feet. It is early days still and there is a lot of confusion. In the office of Prof. DoLittle. A group of party executives have gathered and are discussing plans for the future.

Prof. DoLittle: My breders, let me take this opportunity to thank all of you for the work that you did to ensure that I sit in this office today. I am very grateful to all of you for the sacrifices you have had to make to ensure that we are here today. Ah, where are these orderlies, they have to bring the champagne.

The orderlies bring in the champagne at that moment. They serve all the people seated.

Prof. DoLittle: Let us drink to our good health and prosperity.

All: Cheers

Egya Ntonton: Now to the order of business. Prof. DoLittle, we want to know what has happened to the various cars and houses we are expecting. We are now in power. It is our time to enjoy the state largesse. What is happening?

Prof. DoLittle: Well as you know, the functionaries of the previous government are still using some of the facilities. By law, we must give them three months within which to vacate their houses and return their cars so let’s wait for then.

Mr. Florence: Waa see this man. Heh. Waa see this man. How can you say a thing like this? Let’s kick them out now and give the things to our boys. I have always known that you are a book long man with no balls but this is going too far. You know what we have to do? We should form squadrons of boys who will go about and do our bidding. They would seize the cars from their current holder and bring them right here. Should anything ever happen, you would just say you know nothing about it. Koo Capo would handle all of that.

Dr. Exclamation: I believe that is the one thing that we have to do. We cannot wait any further for these things. We have fought long and hard to get here and we are not about to let anyone take our victory from us. We must live in comfort now and not later. Self-comfort now.

Bangs the table and receives backing from the rest who all laugh and agree with him.

Prof. DoLittle: I have heard you. I have heard all of you. That is what we shall do. Orderlies! Bring more champagne.

Egya Ntonton: Let it flow. Let it flow.

Koo Capo: Now to the issue of the functionaries of the ex- administration. I have issued orders to my boys not to allow them out of the country. I have put boys at the airport who are monitoring their movements. I am on top of the case. I do not want them to run away before we can prosecute them. We must only enlarge Mawasn to be able to contain them.

More laughter.

Prof. DoLittle: On the issue of houses, you all should go and look for the state houses you want to live in and let me know. Allocations would be done soon.

All: Yeah yeah.

Egya Ntonton: You are now acting like a real president. Wo ye bue.

Dr. Exclamation: As for the portfolios, we are working on them. The lists shall be available shortly. For now, let’s just go on and enjoy. Power is sweet.

Act 3

The Expose

Scene 1

“Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”

At the ministries. A secretary’s office

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: Look here all of you. I am the minister here. What I say is final and nobody can question me. I determine what is right and what is wrong so you all better pay attention. Pay very close attention to what I say and if you want to remain in your jobs, then better do what I say and only what I say do you understand?

Staff: Yes boss.

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: You are all dismissed. Secretary, stay behind and take down some notes.

The rest leave the office save the secretary.

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: First of all, there is a match next week Sunday. Please write a letter to the embassy asking for visas for me and my girlfriend. Please make arrangements for hotel accommodation and all other necessary things.

Secretary: Boss, your girlfriend cannot be hosted by the ministry. It is against the rules.

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: I see. So how do all the other people manage to do it?

Secretary: The norm is to present her name as part of the entourage from the ministry. Create a portfolio for her that does not exist and then present her documents to the embassy. That is the only way out.

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: Okay do that then. Do it as you have said. And then use the imprest we have to buy the following items and send them to my wife. Pampers, baby lotion, baby food, pomade, cornflakes and a night gown. Make sure it is very sexy.

Secretary: Yes boss. Anything else?

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: Erm yes. I need to make some chinchinga so I want about 10000 anas allocated for that. That should be all.

Secretary: Ok boss. I would see to it.

Leaves the office to her own office and settles down to type. Alhaji leaves his too and comes to her office, ostensibly just to let her know he is on his way out.

Alhaji Kyinkyinga: Secretary, I am on my way out. I may not come back so please take care of everything.

Secretary: Yes boss.

Alhaji leaves. Another civil servant enters the office to chat.

C.S.: Ei sece, this your new boss dieeeeee he is too known paa o. Hmm. It is always a wonder when these ministers walk in here and begin to feel like they are the bosses. He should remember that we have outlasted several ministers before him and we would outlast him too. But anyway what are you typing?

Takes a look at the work

C.S.: Ei? Papa wei paa? Ei ei ei! Wanna money oooooooooooo wanna money.

Secretary: Her you too shut up ah. Don’t you know he could still be around?

C.S: Ok I will keep my voice down but ei,! Hmm. 10000 for chinchinga, pampers and baby food, cornflakes and night gown. This man has started early. He wants a trip for his girlfriend. O I see. He cares for us indeed.

Scene 2

At a vetting committee meeting at the Mbrashefo chambers. Members are vetting some applicants for some positions.

Chairman: Welcome to this committee Mrs. Iddricries. You have a very impressive resume we all must congratulate you on. We have no doubt that you can perform very well as the minister for the courts. Honourable members, does anyone have a question for her at this stage?

Mr. Fry Whale: Yes Mrs. Iddricries, you made some statements about the courts while you were campaigning. To quote you, you said the courts of Anahg were giraffe courts. I want you to clarify that statement before this august committee. What did you mean by that and why did you say that?

Mrs. Iddricries: Thank you very much. As politicians, there are things that we say on the political platform to get our people excited. In a campaign period, our supporters look up to us for enthusiasm and excitement. In the heat of these things, we sometimes say some things that are meant for the campaign platforms only. Thus what I said back then was only campaign talk. It was nothing serious.

Mr. Fry Whale: So you are saying that it was nothing but just campaign talk?

Mrs. Iddricries: Yes.

Mr. Fry whale: Do you think such actions would help build trust in our political culture, especially between political leaders and the populace?

Mrs. Iddricries: As I have said, it was nothing but mere political talk. That was it. Nothing at all and even the people who heard it knew it was political talk. How can this be taken seriously.

Mr. Fry Whale: let it then be noted that this is what you have said and I shall be watching you as you operate. For all of us, I think we should learn to cultivate the trust of the people and our fellow leaders. To serious slander the integrity and life work of another man only to come here and say later that it was political talk is a serious offence that smacks of a huge lack of integrity.

There is an immediate reaction in the chamber. The Nifafo urge him on whilst the Benkumfo try to stop him from making further utterances.

Mr. Fry Whale: We are leaders and we need to act as such.

Mr. Father Ho: Erm Mr. Fry Whale, thank you very much. We do not have much time and so we must continue with the work before us.

Mr. Fry Whale and his band of Nifafo attempt to protest but they are ignored.

Mr. Father Ho: We shall now have the next person please. Orderlies please bring him in.

Aside to a colleague: I should allow them to speak of things like this? They think I am a fool? This is politics. We are all lying to our death.

They break out in laughter. All characters freeze.

Osagyefo: And so they continue to handle the affairs of our nation. In a jovial and unserious manner that destroys on their own integrity. Hmmmmmmmmmm! I have turned one more time in my grave and my heart sinks deeper into the soil.

Scene 3

At the Mbrashe chambers. A meeting has been convened for the purpose of rendering accounts on particular things. A leading member of the Benkumfo rises up and goes to speak.

Mr. Tuesday-Born Beater: Madam chief elder, fellow Mbrashe colleagues, the press, citizens of Anahg, good morning. It has been barely three months since our esteemed government took over. In this period we have only been trying to put together a government that would work towards the good of our great nation. Madam, before I continue let me state that we have been shocked these last few days by the extent of the rot that we have found in government. Madam, we have found out that government has no money left but has a pile of debts. The pile of debts is so huge that I dare not attempt to say it in our local language.

Uproar goes up in the chamber. The Benkumfo cheer on with” shouts of say it all, say it all” while the Nifafo attempt to shout him down.

Mr. Tuesday-Born Beater: Madam, the past administration spent all the money we have and also shared public properties and assets among themselves. Today, government is now trying to put together the little scraps we can find to run this country. In the last eight years, we have just come to realize that all that we were being told was nothing but a bunch of lies.

Now to the matter before us today. As opposed to the past administration that was not accountable to the people at all, we have come here today to account for a few things we have done with public funds over the last three months. Madam and colleagues, as we are all aware, we have been holding handing over meetings and the government has made some expenditure there. These expenditure covers stationery, food, transportation and other such items for the members of the various committees. It also includes the allowances we paid the individuals who worked on the various committees as well. Here are the accounts. In all we spent six million anas.

A cry goes up in the house. Various individuals from both sides of the divide shout as a result of shock. This goes on for about five minutes. There seems to be some form of chaos.

Madam: ORDER! ORDER! ORDER!

Calm slowly returns.

Mr. Tuesday-Born Beater: Fellows, if you would listen to me you would understand how we come by these figures. Firstly, the past administration did not leave any plan in place for handing over. They put no money aside, had no plans for it and just basically vanished into thin air. As a result of such bad management as has always been the case with them, we had to purchase things like stationery among others in such a very short period of time for the work. This resulted in high prices for those goods. In all we spent about 2 million anas on food.

Another uproar goes up. Shock and bewilderment are expressed on the faces of the people present. Questions are asked and strange conversations threaten to take over.

Madam: ORDER!, ORDER! ORDER

Mr. Tuesday-Born Beater: Again there is more information on this. Let us remember that this is food for people over a period of almost two months. The tea alone cost seven hundred thousand anas.

All: EEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Shouts and other expressions of shock are blatantly displayed. More noise. Another member rises to his feet and catches the eye of the Madam who gives him leave to speak.

Papa Death Cries Single-Giver: Madam, I believe we should spare this my friend here his blushes and allow him to go. I think he is only sinking deeper into this quagmire he has created for himself. I believe that this explanation just does not cut is whatsoever. He began by telling us how broke the country is and how we mismanaged the economy. Madam, my question is, assuming without admitting that all he said was true, is spending seven hundred anas.

Shouts of seven hundred thousand come from behind him to correct him.

Papa Death Cries Single-Giver: Oh sorry. (Turns round to his people) thank you for the correction. Seven hundred THOUSAND anas the best form of prudent management? Which type of tea and in what quantities cost this much? We must get serious.

More discussions and a seeming war of words generate in the chamber. There are shouts and reactions. A near frenzy is generated. All characters freeze.

Osagyefo: You see how they deal with very important issues? All of a sudden people burry their consciences to defend even the most indefensible of things simply because it was done by their side. Ah! Mabre agu.

Scene 4.

The Benkumfo are locked up in a meeting of executives. They have congregated to assess themselves and their performance.

Dr. Exclamation: My colleagues, I welcome you all to this august meeting. Now when we hold meetings, the champagne has to flow. Where are the orderlies? Serve the stuff.

Contented laughs and sounds of concurrence are heard. They are served.

Dr. Exclamation: Today we are almost up to first hundred days of our term of office and we are here to look at our performance. I think we would all have to look upon ourselves with pride. At least our clothes are better, we ride in better cars and our cheeks have grown fatter haven’t they?

More laughter and agreement.

Mr. Florence (very angry and passionate): You people are jokers. What do you mean by that? The people of the past administration are walking about free of charge. We have not been able to lock them up in jail and you are saying all is well? Some of them are still at post. They are working in the various ministries and departments. They are still there. Look Prof. DoLittle you are being too slow. You are being too slow. How can this happen? Huh? How can this happen? Our people are still out there hungry. You cannot be serious.

Mrs. Iddricries: Mr. Florence, we are working on your concerns. We have to follow due process in gathering evidence against these people so we can prosecute them. I assure you we are working on it.

Mr. Florence: Due process my foot. We have enough to already prosecute them. The stole, they killed, they robbed, all of that. And if you cannot find the evidence we are in government. Can’t we fabricate some of it? What is all this? Huh? I am still using my old cars. This is stupid. Very stupid of all of you.

He storms out in anger.

Prof. DoLittle: Don’t worry. I will talk to him in private. And please make sure that his cars are replaced by next week. Give him at least four cross country vehicles and that would make him ok for now.

All agree and the meeting continues. Meanwhile, just outside the meeting place, Mr. Florence is leaving and he is surrounded by a pack of media men who ask him questions.

First person: Mr. Florence, so how did the meeting go?

Mr. Florence: Well they are there trying to do something.

Second media man: Sir, what are your impressions of your government so far?

Mr. Florence (angrily): This is not my government. This cannot be my government. If I was the one at the helm of affairs in this country, the thieves of the former administration would not be walking around as free as they are shamelessly doing right now. They would have all been packed into the prisons at Mawasn by now. This cannot be my government. It is my party in power but I am not the president. But to answer your question I think the government is too slow. They are just too slow about things.

Third person: Do you think the ministers are doing well?

Mr. Florence: I think they are a pack of greedy bastards who have come to seek their personal gains. This is a reserve side and not the real team. Obviously this is a team b side.

A fourth person attempts to ask a question but he receives a terse response of no more questions. With the help of his aides, Mr. Florence is ushered into his car and drives away.

Scene 5.

A couple of months later. In the home of Adjoa and her husband. They are listening to the radio in the morning and going about their morning duties.

Father: Good morning my lovely wife. How are you doing this morning?

Adjoa: By his grace I am blessed and you?

Father: I am blessed my wife. Thanks for the little present last night. It was lovely but next time, please don’t try to break my waist. That little style you did was a killer.

Adjoa (smiling): You were also a killer. You almost reached my heart.

They share a kiss and Adjoa goes to turn on the wireless.

Monday-Born Upon Okro: Good morning Anahg. It is a new morning and welcome to this day. It is one that the Lord has made and so rejoice and be glad in it. It’s a new day and a day full of opportunities. It is a day to succeed or a day to fail. Just remember this throughout the day. (Plays Asa’s no one knows. Starts speaking after the fact that today is an opportunity to succeed or fail). Yesterday’s tomorrow is today and this is your opportunity. This is your aponkyenity as some would say. Welcome to the morning drive with me. My name is Monday-Born Upon Okro. It is now time for the newspaper review and as usual the big mouthed critic is in the studio with me. His name is Ato Saturday-Born metal. Ato how be?

Ato: Aahh my brother we are here. We do not have the cross country vehicles or the new houses or the new girlfriends so we are here.

Okro: What is in the news today?

Ato: Oh you don’t want to know. You seriously don’t want to know. Let me say something before I continue. It appears the government owned papers do not comment on certain stories. They either do not cover it at all or the place it in some corner somewhere. They do this all the time. Anything in favour of the government is splashed on the cover page but anything against it is either lost in the inside pages or never covered at all. I wonder why. But as usual, the government papers have as their headlines Prof. DoLittle commissions borehole in the Whedie district, more investments into the country soon- Friday born Gangster etc.

The more interesting news is found in the private papers. Check this out Alhaji Kyinkyinga accused of using state funds to buys pampers and khebab. Apparently he has been using our money to buy khebab and flying his girlfriend around the globe.

Okro: You can’t be serious.

Ato: Get a copy of the Daa Nsem and read for yourself. Also in the news, Mr. Tin Cutter, the government’s special advisor on oil and gas has apparently secured a 10 billion anas contract for his company. Erm, is there not an issue of conflict of interest here somewhere?

Okro: I believe there should be.

Ato: Ei wanna money oooooo wanna money. Again, Mr. Bag-in-Bin is being accused of taking his wife abroad under the cover of a parliamentary secretary. Ei why, this morning it looks as if ministers are taking their WAGS abroad paa oh. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Wanna money. Yooooooo.

The Aban Konkonsa says that there is an ongoing investigation abroad by some big company involving allegations of bribery and corruption. The interdicted officials of the company claim that they bribed some high ranking people in Ghana including a serving minister to get contratcs in Ghana. And then there is another case where a cement company also abroad claims to have bribed Mr. Florence and some people some years ago when Mr. Florence was in power to enable them get some deals done. And then there is yet another case of some officials of the military being bribed by another car company to get contracts in our dear country. And then…….., you know what, let me leave it here. The list goes on and on and on.

Okro: Well the Nsemforo says Nsekou Okro says that the president is a blind man. According to this report, his is likely to be sacked from his position for this comment. But if he is, is that not intolerance?

Ato; But who says tolerance is the order of the day? It is getting money. Okro, I am sad let us leave it there.

Okro: O.K. so that is the newspaper review for today. God bless our homeland Anahg.

Adjoa goes and turns off the radio set.

Adjoa: Ei God, you have to come and save our nation na this one we don’t understand.

Father: Is it not Wofa who came to this very house to campaign that is allowing all of this to happen?

Adjoa: Hmmmmmmmmmm. Say it again my husband. This people, they are all the same. The make all those promises and then come and chop our money. I bet you the Nifafo are also just waiting for their time to come and do the same things or worse. Only God can save us now. But Prof. DoLittle seems a genuine man. Let’s wait and see how he would deal with these issues. He has a press conference later in the year so he would clear all our doubts. Let’s just wait and see. I believe he would do better.

Scene six

A press conference. A couple of months have passed and the government has called a press conference to answer the questions that face the people of the country. Prof. DoLittle is personally answering all questions today.

Prof. DoLittle: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome. I know a couple of questions are bothering your minds so this meeting is specifically to answer all of those questions so without wasting much time let’s get to it. First question.

1^st questioner: Prof. DoLittle, we the people of Anahg thank you very much for providing us with leadership these past few months. A couple of us want to know this. When you were campaigning, you promised all of us that you would prosecute all those who have taken state funds and used them on themselves and their families. You said there is a lot of evidence and that you knew them all and so you would get them once you were voted into power. You have been in office for some time now. What is happening?

Prof. DoLittle: Well there are two reasons why some of those people are still walking about. The first is that there are certain elements within constitution that we have to follow. It is called due process and we have to follow due process. We respect the law and are not going to do anything to jeopardize or sidestep it so we are a bit slow on that but we will get there.

The second reason is that there are certain elements in the country that are working against the government in its attempt to achieve the set objectives. Unfortunately, these people have friends in high places that are willing to do anything for them. We will weed them out in due time.

Second questioner: Wofa, we heard the case of Alhaji Kyinkyinga and the khebabs and pampers saga. What has happened to it?

Wofa: Well as you know we set up a committee to investigate it and we have implemented the recommendations of the committee. The honourable minister resigned and he has paid back the monies he appropriated wrongly. However the whistle blowers also have had to be punished a little for a few offences. We would continue to deal with it.

Second questioner: A follow up sir. Don’t you think the punishment of the whistle blowers would deter others from coming up with such information in later times? And also, it seems the issue of Alhaji was one of corruption. Would he be prosecuted just us you promised to deal with other corrupt officials?

Prof. DoLittle: The issue of Alhaji Kyinkyinga is not one of corruption. Perhaps it is indiscretion. He should have exercised better judgment but we cannot just prosecute him on this.

2^nd questioner: What about the issue of the alleged girlfriend?

Prof. DoLittle: Is he the only minister to have sent a girlfriend abroad? Sometimes we drag things a little too far don’t we?

There is a murmur from the crowd. Most people have shocked expressions on their faces but are trying to be polite.

3^rd questioner: Prof. DoLittle, I would personally like to congratulate the government on the efforts it is making o fight corruption in society. At the same time, we are worried about a couple of things. There have been several allegations against government officials and nothing is being done about it. There is the scandal involving the construction company, the one with the cement company, Alhaji’s issue and the one about the military. In Alhaji’s case, the whistle blowers are being punished. Don’t you think that would not encourage people to come out and tell the truth?

Prof. DoLittle: As a government, we have a policy of accountability and open doors. We would listen to everyone but you cannot just come and make wild allegations. If you make allegations, you must bring evidence. All these allegations have not stood the test of time. Some of them have to be quashed by the courts and all of that. You see government officials are individuals under a lot of pressure who must be protected to an extent thus we cannot just get up and prosecute them there must be evidence.

3^rd questioner: Sir but if we remember right, when ex-president Jack Waawaa said the same thing, you were not pleased.

Prof. DoLittle; there is something we call prudence. We are a prudent government that has the interest of the people at heart. We would continue to do all we can to improve their lot. This is what we came to do. I care for the people. Anahg is a great country and no one can deny that fact. The country has been mismanaged for some time but we would bring it back on track

The questioner attempts to say something but he is sent away on the excuse that there is not enough time. The pressmen are shocked and they begin to murmur amongst themselves. The security men try and keep them quiet. At this juncture there is a seeming commotion. There are some members of the press that are not too happy about this turn of events but things have to move on. Dr. Exclamation steps up to try and bring some sanity.

Dr. Exclamation: We are not happy at the turn of events especially with our attempts to prosecute the corrupt officials of the immediate past administration. We are aware that the past administration packed the judiciary with its people and they are now trying to sabotage us. We are very aware of it. We would cleanse the judiciary of such elements very soon and damn whoever think we are interfering with it.

Questioner: Dr. don’t you think what you just said constitutes a threat?

Dr. Exclamation: Of course not. There are so many ways of killing a cat so when it gets to how, we would let you know.

Questioner: Wow! Shocking.

All characters freeze.

Osageyfo : Yes. Shocking. Like they say, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. These are the things that the leaders of my countrey are doing to them. No one could put it better. It is a simple statement. Wow! Shocking.

Act 4.

The fire brigade grows arrogant.

Scene 1

At a cabinet meeting. Plans are being made on how to lead the country. Ministers and their deputies are present at this planning committee meeting.

Prof. DoLittle: My people. I welcome you all to this meeting. Our honey moon days are over and now we must go back to our jobs, we have a country to run and we must do this to the best of our abilities. The people voted for us to become their leaders and now it is our time to give them that sort of leadership. So let us start with the treasury department. What plans do you have?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: Thank you very much for the opportunity. We at the department of the treasury have so many plans but the truth is that all the things we promised the people during the campaign cannot be achieved. By all indications, our plans were unrealistic and we cannot in good sense attempt to pursue those things we promised the people we would.

Egya Ntonton: Look here Mr. Man. We all know that we cannot fulfill those promises we made. We knew it right from the start. We had to say something and so we said some things. Now we are in power and so we must do something. That is all. We do not have to do all we promised. All we have to do is to let it look like we are doing something and that is that. This is African leadership. It is all about perception. We can get away with anything if we make it look like we are doing a good job.

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: In that case I would suggest that we pursue the same policies that were being pursued by the previous administration. This would mean we would attempt to stabilize one or two indicators and use them to attract loans into the country. This would also give us the space and chance to make noise that we are developing the country.

Fiifi Propa: As for me, I want to go to school to further my education so I do not want us to do anything that would put a strain on that. So far as I know and I am concerned, we were doing just fine and so let’s pursue that policy. When anything comes up, the department of nsem should be able to control it in our favour. Let us be a fire brigade. We would do nothing unnecessary. When something comes up, we attend to it. If not, then like a fire brigade, we would sit in wait.

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I agree with you perfectly on this one. We shall be the fire brigade. My brother, like you, I also have to go back to school to further secure my future. So I would just want to sit and enjoy the position. All we have to do is occasionally release some things that would work in our favour. Another very important thing is that when our opponents attempt to criticize us, we would send our communications machinery against them and cripple them. We would intimidate them by insulting them and using all other means possible. The security forces have to be our allies so we would have to work on pleasing them. Once all of these things are in place, we shall rule forever’

All: Amen! Amen! Amen!

Prof. DoLittle: What you have all said make sense. But is that all of what it would take to ensure a vibrant ecomini? O sorry I meant economy. Would we have sufficient economic ploduction? Sorry I meant production.

Mr. Tin Cutter: As politicians, we must behave like tricksters. We must always have enough tricks up our sleeves to keep the people interested and delighted. For as long as we do that, they would be too concerned with their daily lives to pay any serious attention to the real issues and happenings. One of the major tricks we can pull is to blame the opposition for every evil that happens from now onwards. All we would do is find ways and means to link the evil happenings to the opposition. It is either they are behind it or they are the causes of it through economic mismanagement. Whatever it takes. We should work had to find other tricks because believe me the best politicians are the politricsters. The politicians who are really tricksters.

Prof. DoLittle: That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense but what about scandals? How would we deal with scandals? Also, how would we manage to keep our people satisfied? How would we keep our youth and other ranks happy?

Egya Ntonton: Ho! Those people, we will sort them out. There is that global sports festival coming on very soon so we will take them there. We will just select a couple of them and send them there. Also, we would use the existing job schemes to recruit a few of them. Those that cannot be catered for under these schemes, we would keep on making promises to them. We would make promises and hope that something happens for them to come to pass. After all we are the politricsters aren’t we?

All: Laughter and smiles

Uncle Akoi: For the scandals, we would always set up a committee, apart from doing some bogus work with preconceived findings, these conomteas would also enable us get some jobs for the boys. I use the word conomteas because we would just put a couple of people there to go and drink tea, take some allowances and draft a report. By the time all of these are done, the public would have forgotten about it and we would all quietly sweep it under the carpet.

Prof. DoLittle: Another smart move. Very smart. What else can we do?

All characters freeze

Osagyefo: This is how they plan to rule my nation. This is what they did when they met. But Adjoa and her husband will keep hoping for a better Anahg. A better Anahg for all.

Scene 2.

In the president’s office. He is being attended by a couple of aids as his ministers come and go. They are attending to state issues.

Pretty face strange name: Prof. DoLittle good morning.

Prof. DoLittle: good morning sweetie how is you?

Pretty face strange name: Ah. I and my household are fine. We are all very well. This morning I came to see you about some issues that are bothering us at the Nsem department. First there is a scandal brewing o. Hmmmm. You remember Stand Dog Be?

Prof. DoLittle nods his head in acknowledgement of this.

Pretty face strange name: Well, we gave him the 1.6 billion anas as we decided and some people have found out and are threatening to expose us.

Prof. DoLittle: Is that why you are worried? O sweetie. Don’t be at all. This is what we shall do. We shall immediately establish a conomteas and get things going. Nothing will happen. In the meantime I have set up a conomtea here for forming conomteas. Inform them and they shall take care of it.

Exit Pretty face strange name as Mr. Bag-in-Bin enters. He looks a bit flustered and obviously angry.

Mr. Bag-In –Bin: Prof. DoLittle I greet you.

Prof. DoLittle: Good morning my breder. How are you?

Mr. Bag-in-Bin: This is not the time for such pleasantries at all Prof. DoLittle. The Chon Wan Cha loan we are going for is facing serious problems in the Mbrashe chambers. The Nifafo are opposing it and it does not look like we are having a good deal on the day. My problem is how come we allowed such shoddy work to go before the Mbrashe? What was done at the department of Mrs. Iddricries?

Prof. DoLittle: My breder calm down. We are the fire brigade remember? We shall find a way around this immediately.

Turns to a page and orders:

Prof. DoLittle: Find me Mr. Tin Cutter and Uncle Akoi immediately.

Turns to Mr. Bag-in-Bin.

We shall deal with this problem swiftly heh? Don’t worry.

Mr. Tin Cutter and Mr. Akoi show up.

Prof. DoLittle: Ah my trusted advisors. We have a problem. It seems the Chon Wan Cha Loan is facing problems at the Mbrashe chambers. What do we do about it?

Mr. Tin Cutter: Let us recall it and look at it again. When we recall it, we shall say that we care about the views of the opposition in the national interest and so we have recalled it to take a second look at it. Once that is done, we will look at it and delete the not so relevant clauses from it and present it to the chambers again. This time, all those who complain would be seen as nothing but rubble rousers. Individuals we seek nothing but trouble. In reality, we would pass it in the same form.

Mr. Akoi: Also, we would cause an audit of the loan to be done. We would call it a value for money audit. When that is done, we can say that we called a group of experts and they think that this is the best thing ever to have happened to Anahg and we would have something to campaign with.

Prof. DoLittle: Mr. Bag-in-Bin you see what I told you? There. We have our solution.

Mr. Bag- in-Bin: Ok we shall do just that. I am on my way to do just that. Thank you all very much.

Prof. DoLittle: Thank you too my breder.

Mr. Bag-in-Bin leaves as another presidential aide rushes in. he is in a terrible state and very confused. Pants heavily to the extent that it punctuates his speech.

Aide: Prof. DoLittle, Prof. DoLittle. Something is happening in namiahsa. There is serious flooding and people have lost all their belongings. There is a serious crisis over there

Prof. DoLittle: My advisors what shall we do?

Mr. Akoi: Stick to the fire fighters approach. We shall send a few mbrashefo there to commiserate with the people. Then you shall go there and make a few promises. Ask them to pray or pray with them. Then we shall also go there and talk to them. That is all.

Mr. Tin Cutter: Let us not also forget to establish a conomtea to look into how this could have been avoided and to make recommendations on how avoid it in the future. Nothing will be done about the report but at least we can find a few jobs for the boys. And then call in the fire brigade to handle the accusations of the Nifafo.

Prof. DoLittle: Forgive an old man but who were the fire brigade again?

Mr. Tin Cutter: Hannah’s son Obrekwa, Oheneba Exclamation, Book in Bible Author Magyemenim and co. those young men we have assembled as part of the Nsem department. They are the people who form the fire brigade. When there is a fire on the mountain, we call them in to go and attempt to solve it by talking.

Prof. DoLittle: Ok nice. So aide, you know what to do. Tell the conomtea for establishing conomteas to get on the job right away.

Another aide walks in in the same manner as the first. Flustered as well

Aide: Prof. DoLittle good morning. There is news of a mass rape somewhere in the country. They claim some armed robbers attacked a bus and raped the people on it.

Mr. Tin Cutter: This story must not be allowed to stand. We must make it look like whoever told the nation this story is telling an untruth. If it stands, it creates a sense of insecurity in the nation and we do not look too good.

Mr. Akoi: I perfectly agree with all of it. I think we must work hard and make sure that this does not stand at all. It would kill our fortunes if we let it. Let us call the fire brigade on it. Get the security some money and have them deny the story. Arrest whoever said it and put him behind bars.

Aide: It is a lady sir. Her name is Anima Massaoud.

Uncle Akoi: Cause her arrest and have her languish in cells. That should serve as warning for other people who want to bring things into the public domain.

Mr. Tin Cutter: I agree totally. And also let us set up a conomtea to look into all of this.

Prof. DoLittle: Aide you have heard. Go and implement.

Aide: Yes sir.

Prof. DoLittle: On your way out, tell the orderlies to bring me some tea. I am tired.

Aide: Yes sir

Aide hurries away. Mr. Tin Cutter, Prof. DoLittle and Uncle Akoi remain in the room as other characters keep on coming and going in similar manner. In all of these, a conomtea is formed and a few simple solutions are found.

Scene 3.

At the home of Adjoa and her husband. It is evening and they are just in time for the evening news. They sit and begin a conversation.

Adjoa: My husband, how was work today? You do not look too well.

Husband: Hmmmm, my dear. It has not been an easy day at all. Work was very tiring and what even made it worse was all the noise was that was being made by my colleagues. It is as if we have nothing else to do but discuss the leadership of this country. It is very bad.

Adjoa goes to her husband, hugs him and takes him to his seat. She goes to bring a meal of kenkey and fried fish and turns on the radio set. The news begins.

Newscaster: Good evening Anahg. It is seven o’ clock and this is the evening news presented by myself Melsom Amimehs. In the headlines:

Prof. DoLittle prays with the people of Namiahsa. Anima Massaoud charged for causing fear and panic before the Asemdibea, department of the treasury declares that the economic indicators of the country are good and Hannah’s son Obrekwa accuses the Nifafo of being behind the alleged insecurity in the country.

Husband: Aba. Enough is enough. It has been two years since we voted for Prof. DoLittle yet still every single thing is the fault of the opposition. When shall all of this end? We are beginning to feel we did the wrong thing by believing in this man.

Adjoa: My husband, be careful that you do not choke on your food. All these people are the same. They do not care about us so my husband please do not mind them eat your food. God will take care of us.

Husband: I remember very well the day Prof. DoLittle came to this very house. He made all sorts of statements about how he cares for us and that he would never leave us. He said he was one of us and that he was born not with a silver spoon in his mouth but as an ordinary individual like all of us. So what happened to all of his statements?

They stop to reflect on his statement as the newscaster continues with her stories.

Newscaster: In other news, an aide at the department of Nsem, Mr. Stand DogBe has been accused of corruption and misappropriation of funds to the tune of 1.6 billion anas. The facts of the case are that he collected the money to undertake some public education which is yet to be done. On the line we have him to clarify the issues. Good evening Mr. DogBe.

Mr. DogBe: Good evening my friend.

Newscaster: Mr. DogBe what do you have to say about the accusations that have been leveled against you?

Mr. DogBe: I have nothing to say except that these accusations are being formulated by my opponents and detractors of the government. I must emphasize that I have done nothing wrong in this regard and I would continue to uphold my innocence.

Newscaster: Mr. DogBe, can you therefore tell us what happened to the sum in question?

Mr. DogBe: Oh yes I can. It is a very simple thing. The money was assigned to me for public education purposes and I used it for such purposes. I gave some to the union of the free press to enable them undertake workshops and seminars so as to improve their efficiency as well as output. And then I paid for a number of feature articles in the various dailies to enable the public know what we are supposed to be educating people about. In the last trench, I bought gifts for some Nsemtwerefo to motivate them to further the cause of such important public cause.

Newscaster: Mr. DogBe you have just said that you gave some of the money to the union of the free press, is that right?

Mr. DogBe: That is very much so.

Newscaster: We have on the line the president of the union of the free press now. Good evening sir.

President: Good evening madam.

Newscaster: We have just been told that the disputed sum of money is not really unaccounted for and that you outfit had a section of it. Is that true?

President: Let me state here and now, categorically and with emphasis that not a dime was given to us of this money. In any case, if the money was given to us, there must be payment vouchers and things like that at the department. I dare Mr. DogBe and his partners at the department to publicly show such documents. I have never met him before and the union has had no dealing with him whatsoever therefore I am shocked that he could even say such a thing.

Newscaster: Mr. DogBe I believe you heard him. What have you to say?

Mr. DogBe (angrily): so you brought me unto this platform to be insulted by this good for nothing nobody? Is that how you treat public officials? Have you no shame or fear? Do you know what I am capable of doing? How stupid is this?

Cuts the line.

Newscaster: we have lost Mr. DogBe on the line but I believe he would be brought back very soon. In any case his reply was that we should not insult him. Thank you very much president of the union of the free press.

President: Thank you for the opportunity and my dare still stands.

Adjoa: Ei these people. Hmmmmmmmmmm. They are growing more arrogant each day. How can you say such things on radio? How can you display such arrogance? What annoys me is that I am way older than this small boy. This is shameful

Husband: O so now you realize? Now you realize that I was telling the truth? Like you said only God can save us now. I wonder how Prof. DoLittle would be able to campaign again. Hmmm.

They return to listening to the news.

Newscaster: The Department of Sikasem says that the economic indicators of the country are good and that Anahg has reached a middle income status. According to Mr. Tuesday born beater, the economy has grown by so much over the last two years through prudent economic management that Anahg is a middle income country now. On the line we have Mr. Tuesday born beater. Welcome sir.

Mr. Tuesday born beater: Thank you very much madam.

Newscaster: Sir, can you explain what you mean by “the economic indicators of the country are good”?

Mr. Tuesday born beater: Well, in economics and finance, we look at some things to make judgment on the performance of countries. Currently, the growth rate of Anahg is impressive and inflation is single digit. This coupled with prudent fiscal management has given us an overall appeal that is quite impressive. Also, we have just reached middle income status and that means that we are now earning more money across board that we used to. Overall, our production of goods and services has gone up and we are beginning to realize our dream of becoming a developed country.

Newscaster: Sir for you in government would you say this is significant or there is more to come?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: This is very significant. This is great news. This is the best thing ever to have happened to Anahg.

Newscaster: Sir, how come we have reached middle income status in such a short while? What accounted for it?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: Well actually it has come about a result of what we call rebasing of the economy. This means that the measuring rods were changed and so we are using a new set of measuring instruments.

Newscaster: So what you are saying is that if we were to use the old base, we still would not have reached middle income status?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: Yes.

Newscaster: Sir before you go, one last question. While you were campaigning, you asked us not to consider the economic indicators that the previous government was taunting because they did not buy food or pay school fees. Now you are in power and you seem to be saying the same things they used to say. How do you defend that?

Mr. Tuesday born Beater: Erm, erm I must say that these indicators are good for us and about the campaign promises I think you should ask the party officials. They would have a better explanation than me on this one.

Newscaster: Thank you very much sir. To get further reactions from the ruling party on the indicators and the middle income status of Anahg presently, we have Egya Ntonton on the line. Good evening sir

Egya Ntonton: Good evening.

Newscaster: Sir when you were campaigning we were told that the economic indicators meant nothing but it looks as though now that your party is in power, they are using the same indicators to score political points. What do you have to say about that?

Egya Ntonton: Well let me just say that at the time we were in opposition and we needed to say something to improve the situation for us and thus we said the things we said. The head of the Sikasem Department at the time, because he was a kokooase kurasini could also not project his views very well and today we are in power. That is all.

Newscaster: Sir in other words you are saying it was all nothing but political talk?

Egya Ntonton: Not in many words but yes exactly that.

Newscaster: Thank you very much for you time

Egya Ntonton: Thank you too.

Adjoa holds her hand to her mouth in shock while her husband continues to eat on, very unconcerned.

All characters freeze

Osagyefo: My people continue to be shocked at the arrogance that is displayed. But their time would definitely come.

Scene 4.

In the office of Prof. DoLittle. He is attending to daily duties. Uncle Akoi and Mr. Tin Cutter are present. An aide comes in announces whispers something into the ears of Prof. DoLittle.

Prof. DoLittle: Now I am tired of these people. Haba. What is this yesterday they were seizing toilets. Three days ago they were locking people out of their offices. Today they are demonstrating. What at all do they want from me? I am no Jesus. And even Jesus did not solve the problems of everyone when he came to the earth. I am more than fed up with these foot soldiers.

Dr. Exclamation walks into the room. He is visibly angry. Others like Egya Ntonton and Hannah’s son Obrekwa are in tow.

Dr. Exclamation: Have you heard what is going on?

Prof. DoLittle: Of course I have. What are we going to do about these people? They are severe pests. What at all have we done to deserve this? Did we not take them to the world sports festival? Did we not give some of them jobs after sacking the people that already had those jobs? What else do they want?

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: They say we promised them a good life when we were campaigning. They say they killed themselves for us and so they want their reward now. They are tired.

Egya Ntonton: We promised them a good life, yes, but they must know that that was all political talk. We have done our best for them and they must now get with the program or face the consequences. We cannot continue to have them misbehaving all over the place. It is not good for the party.

Dr. Exclamation: I would organize the Nsemtwerefo and deny these people are part of the party. I would tell them that we have cadres and that foot soldiers are not a part of our organization. That should buy us some time to operate.

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I would also offer the explanation that the previous administration was giving undue favours and advantages to their foot soldiers and so our people expect the same treatment. We are not doing so because we are a government of principle and thus we seem to be lagging behind on our promises to the people. We are all very much aware of the problems but we would work with fairness and equity all the way.

Uncle Akoi: That should do it for now. And then we would figure out what to do. I think we have found a solution.

All: Yes we have.

Egya Ntonton: So did these people really think we care about them? They should get serious and go search for some jobs. Lazy people!

Act 5

THE LOSS.

Scene 1.

At a meeting of party executives. They are planning towards the next election which is very close by. There is a jovial party mood with a lot to drink and eat. Everyone there is happy.

Dr. Exclamation: Order, order, order my people. Thank you all for making it within such a short period of time. As we are all aware, the elections are fast coming and we need to prepare ourselves for it. None of us can treat this season lightly because our political and financial fortunes depend on it. Today, just like we did four years ago, we are here to discuss the strategies we are going to adopt in campaigning for the upcoming elections. So you have the floor. What have you to say?

Egya Ntonton: the opposition will be looking to cause a lot of disaffection for us so we need to counter that effectively. The best way to go about this is to blame them for all our failures. We have to try and let the people feel that they are the cause of all that went wrong. So if there is a rubbish dump that has not been attended to, we say it is because the opposition contracted people to throw more rubbish there whenever we cleaned it. If the electricity bills have gone up, we say the past administration left so much debt that we had to raise the prices pay for the debts. If gas supply is irregular, we say that the past administration did not pay their bills on time and so no one wanted to supply us with what we wanted. We have to blame the opposition for everything. Even for floods and earthquakes. Everything.

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I agree with you on that and I also think that we must use money to buy all the advertising space we can. Let us have our campaign items all over the streets. We should erect billboards, have posters everywhere, give out free souvenirs, and paint every available surface in our party colours. That should also do it for us. The advertising would speak for us while we try to supplement its deficiencies.

Pretty face Strange Name: we must also give out a lot of money to people. We must but cloth and watches and shirts and roofing sheets and mats and all the things we can think of. These things will buy the votes of recipients for us. We must print t-shirts in large numbers and give it out to our people to wear. All of this will make the party appeal to the people.

Prof. DoLittle: for me, I would stick to my “I care for you”, “father for all” mantra. I would appeal to them as an honest man of integrity who would provide honest and quality leadership at all times. As much as possible leave my name out of all scandals.

Fiifi Propa: I would also monitor the opposition and make sure that our people hit hard on anyone who attempts to bring out any dirt on the government. I have specially trained a group of people who expertise is in insulting. They would descend heavily on anyone who attempts to say anything negative about our government. They would harass and even formulate lies about them in order to bring public disgrace unto those people. Once this is achieved, such persons would quietly go away.

Dr. Exclamation: I believe that should do it. We have come up with some of the best strategies ever devised in the history of politics. To summarize, we have agreed to

1. Blame the opposition for every negative thing

2. Buy as much advertising as is available

3. Buy votes using money and other inducements

4. Project a good name for our leader

5. Harass opponents.

Do we all agree on these methods?

All: Yes.

Egya Ntonton: In the absence of any other matter, I move that this meeting be closed.

Prof. DoLittle: I second.

Dr. Exclamation: In that case the meeting stands adjourned.

They all rise, hold post meeting consultations and exit.

Scene 2

At a beer bar. The usual clients have gathered and are discussing pertinent issues.

Kojo Ansah: So who do you think would win the upcoming elections?

Gabriel Bukari: I believe the Benkumfo will win. They are in control of state resources and so it is most likely they would leave no stone unturned in the quest to stay in power. Power is sweet and I do not think they would want to let go that easily. It has been just four years. They definitely want more.

Kofi Ntim: Who says so? And you think the Nifafo are also going to sit down and let them do that? They have been in opposition for four years, they are hungry. I am pretty sure they will also put in place strategies to ensure that they win. They will do all things possible to ensure a victory for them. Now that oil has been found? Everyone wants to dip his fingers into the state coffers so we have a real battle on our hands this coming election.

Kojo Ansah: That may be so but I really do not care about this coming election. Both the main parties are the same. They would come and make all the promises they can make and when they win, they would forget about us all. What did Prof. DoLittle not say? What has he done? We can still afford only one bottle each night. Not even a quarter more. Why should we care?

Gabriel Bukari: Kojo you have read my mind. This people are all tricksters. Perhaps they should be called politricsters instead of politicians.

Esi: Do not say that my friends. It is our civic duty to vote. We owe it to ourselves and they country to be part of the decision making process. Whether we like it or not, some people have to lead so if we do not take part in choosing those leaders, then we have no say at all.

Kofi Ntim: Waa look at this woman. She has fallen for all their nonsense hook, line and sinker. The only decision you and I make is who will chop (spend) our money. That is all. When they win the power, we are really nothing before their eyes. As for me, I have made up my mind to enjoy the campaign period. This is my cocoa season and I will reap a bumper harvest.

Esi: Ei philosopher nonsense. What do you mean by that?

Kofi Ntim: this is the time when those politicians go about looking for votes. In doing that, they give out loads of money. They also give out cloth, watches, rice, oil, t-shirt and even wallets. I will go to every rally and cheer so I can also have my share. Then when it is time for voting, I will sleep and not go. We all have to use our heads.

Gabriel Bukari: For the first time this fool has said something wise. Let us all drink to that.

Raises his glass.

Gabriel Bukari: To a wise Kofi Ntim.

All: To a wise Kofi Ntim.

Esi: Then I believe we would get a lot more from the Benkumfo because they are in power now and so have more money. They are rich and want the power more so they can pay for it. I suggest we go to all their meetings and cheer for them so we can reap a bountiful harvest.

Kojo Ansah: I agree with you. We shall do exactly that.

They continue in the party.

Exit.

Scene 3.

At the home of Adjoa and her husband. They are having a jovial conversation.

Husband: Ei, this time Prof. DoLittle has not come here to campaign o. when is he coming?

Adjoa: Continue dreaming my friend. Now he is a big man. His small boys do that for him. We would never have him here again.

Husband: But he promised that he would be back.

Adjoa: Why are you talking like you are 2 years old? Did you really think he would come? What do they call it? Erm……. Erm……. Yes they call it political talk. You do not get over it and continue waiting for him. The rapture would be here first before he comes.

Husband: I hear they were at the community centre last Friday. They came in their big cars and fanciful attire to come and campaign. Kojo Ansah was there and he got a watch, a t- shirt, half piece cloth and 100 anas.

Adjoa: Good. I think we must all go to all their meetings, listen to them and make them feel like they have our support and then on voting day, we leave them hanging. They have tricked us these past four years so what is wrong if we also trick them? In the end I would vote for the Nifafo.

Husband: Good idea. I think we would all do the same thing. The election is next week. They would see.

Scene 4

At the election headquarters of Prof. DoLittle. There is a lot of movement and anxiety.

Egya Ntonton: Ei. Asem aba. We are in trouble. From all indications we have lost this election. Is there nothing we can do now?

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I do not think so. At this juncture, we are all waiting for the head of the Ambakanfo to declare the results. There is nothing that we can do.

Dr. Exclamation: What nonsense. How did this happen? How? After all the money and gifts we gave to these people? They are ungrateful fools. Ingrates. Idiots. Damn.

Egya Ntonton: watch it. Some Nsemtwerefo are here. You do not want them going to say anything about this.

Dr. Exclamation: So what are we going to do?

Hannah’s son Obrekwa: I believe we have all stored some money away for ourselves. Let us just quietly accept defeat and go spend the money with our families. We are better off now than when we came to power. Any attempt to hold on to power might cost us a lot.

Dr. Exclamation: You are right

Someone (shouting from offstage): The results are about to be announce. Turn on the television.

The television is turned on they all settle down to watch it.

Mr. yet to be Chosen: Good afternoon Anahg. As we are all aware, we recently voted for the next leader of the country and after much counting, we are now ready for the results and this is it.

Prof. DoLittle of the Benkumfo had 44.3% of the votes. Chief short man of the Nifafo had 53.7% of the votes and so the next elected leader of Anahg is Chief Shortman.

Dr. Exclamation faints. Egya Ntonton leaves in a hurry and there is general confusion.

Exit.

Scene 5.

At the home of Prof. DoLittle. He is sitting in his living room quietly meditating and drinking tea. Mr. Florence barges into the room and stands looking shocked for some time. He shakes his head.

Mr. Florence: Atta, ota bie otwa tea? Herh! Atta otwa tea? (Atta, you are sitting down drinking tea? Atta you are drinking tea?)

Exeunt.

EPILOGUE.

Osagyefo: The evil that men do lives after them indeed. The leaders of the Benkumfo thought they were too smart. In the end they had their own tea handed back to them. They forgot they cannot fool all the people all the time.

Now power has changed hands. Anahg has a new leader with a new set of people in charge. But sadly, nothing will change. It will be the same old script but different actors. The opposition has become the ruling party and vice versa. That is all that has changed. Aside that, everything will remain the same.

Shouts are heard from behind the stage

BRING THE CAR. HER BRING THE CAR.

Osagyefo: Aaaahhh. Oyiwa. You see? They have already started seizing cars.

Exit.